My Hot Doctor Punched Me and then Told Me I Have Problems

I know, it’s hard to believe–but he really is quite blessed in the face department. Also he surfs, and though I have never surfed in my life, my brain has been conditioned to consider anyone who does surf as infinitely cool. And let’s be honest, they are.

Other than that, I suppose my title is a bit misleading. Technically, my hot doctor did a punch biopsy on a weird lump of skin on my hand. So he did punch me, but just 4mm of my hand and with a tiny, sharp cookie-cutter thing.

If you ever have to get a punch biopsy, it’s really nothing to worry about. Unless, I suppose, you are like a couple of my siblings and have a hard time with needles. In that case you might have a bit of a hard time when they numb you up. If so, just do what my little bro does and employ some nice intense labor breathing. I don’t know if it helps with dealing with the needle, but it sure is funny for the other people in the room.

I’m feeling Saint-like.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yesterday I finally got the results back on the biopsy. I’ll give you a hint–the results follow quite neatly the pattern of my medical life thus far. So yeah, they don’t know what it is. It could be a this fancy medical word, it could be a that obscure dermatological term. I guess the good thing is we at least know what it is not. It is not skin cancer. It is not infectious. It does not appear to be apart of a larger condition. But it is officially weird–several doctors have now described it as such–and very annoying.

So naturally the medical consensus that it should be completely removed is quite alright with me. I’m scheduled to have it removed by Hot Doctor on August 7th (as logic would dictate, I have to wait til then to have it removed so that it has time to heal from the biopsy before they cut it off). He did offer to refer me to a dermatologist to have it sliced off–you know just in case I ever want to have a hand modeling career (his joke not mine)–but as of right now that’s not in the plan so I’m perfectly content to have him do it.

Looks healed enough to me.